All of us want to find the perfect partner with whom we can spend the rest of our lives. After several failed relationships and imperfect boyfriends, I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to get perfection would be to date something non-human. I asked myself what inanimate object would make an ideal partner and I came up with a clear answer—Google! (My second choice would be Apple). Here’s why Google and I would make such a perfect match:
- Google always has the solution to my problems. No matter what random or crazy question I have, Google will find all the solutions possible for me to consider.
- Google always wants to do what I want to do. There’s never any arguing about what movie to watch on a Friday night or which restaurant to go to for dinner.
- My family already loves Google. And not only does my own family already love it, but Google doesn’t have family, so I’ll never have to deal with in-laws.
- Google and I will never fight. If we do see things differently, or misunderstand each other, Google can always be used as a conflict resolution for it’s own problem. Email not working right? Google it! Can’t figure out how to get your document to save correctly in Google Docs? Google it!
- Google earns billions of dollars a year. What girl doesn’t want to marry a billionaire?
- Google knows how to listen. Literally, if I set up my computer or phone with voice command programs, I can tell Google exactly what I want by only speaking a word.
- Google responds instantly and never leaves me waiting. In fact, Google starts responding before I’ve even finished asking. It’s almost as if he can read my mind because as I start typing, it predicts what I want to know and automatically fills it in. Sometimes he guesses slightly wrong at the beginning, but he always gets it right in the end.
- Google has almost infinite depth. Google has the capacity to store and remember every detail of every little thing that has ever happened. Most guys can’t even remember an anniversary, while Google will not only remember it, but notify me when the big day is coming up.
- Google is at my beck and call, 24/7. Support at any time, anywhere. Can a real man do that?
- Google never complains. If I make a mistake, Google autocorrects it for me rather than giving me a frustrated look. Plus, Google never shouts or gets moody.
Now, if it looks like I can’t seduce Google into marrying me, I already have another option simmering on the back burner—Apple! Here are just a few reasons why Apple is second in line, although many of the above points for Google can apply here as well:
- Apple may have it’s problems, but its good looks make up for it. While their systems can sometimes have glitches, it’s usually easily fixed and doesn’t matter so much since it’s physical features will always remain attractive. It’s kind of like dating a model—sometimes it has brains and sometimes it doesn’t—but either way, there will always be good looks.
- I have Apple wrapped around my little finger. Apple has so many great preference choices when it comes to individualizing their products, particularly laptops and touch screen devices.
- Apple is constantly improving. Every few months or so, updates and new products are released so that I will always have the best of the best and never get bored.
About the Author
Tiffani Azani is a freelance writer for My Colleges and Careers. MyCollegesandCareers.com assists students in the process of completing their education through an online college or university and then start working in one of the top careers in their industry.